“If the election process in Rianige is not reformed, rampant corruption will continue to be our lifestyle. If our campaign law and its high cost are not changed, corruption will continue to thrive. If people will spend billions of Naira to get elected, they must find a quick way to get their investment back. It is a vicious circle which explains why one is never poor in Rianige once they have been in a position of power.” He said.
When Kata Kata’s correspondent asked the speaker why other non –politicians equally steal with impunity, he looked steadily at her and added ‘I assume we are born with, baptized in and grow up with corruption in Rianige. But that does not mean that every Rianige is corrupt. We do have strong breeds, but you need a good search to find them.”
Asked by the reporter why even accountants in Rianige are equally caught in the web of stealing, he blinked his eyes and stammered: “Yes, amm…as a professional accountant, I can tell you that no fraud would go on without accountants not being aware of it. However, we need to draw a distinction between chartered accountants and “accountants.” Our body NACI has never shy away from investigating and sanctioning members found wanting in their practice.”
Kata Kata’s investigations at various universities in the country revealed that many accountancy students interviewed maintained that the reason behind their choice of course is to help eradicate the stealing cankerworm in the society. Others however revealed that accountancy certificate is a license to steal as one is taught during the studies how to steal and cover any track of the stealing. More so, they boasted that “all other corrupt politicians and non politicians alike need us to execute and cover their acts.”
But like the smart bird which has learnt how to fly without perching because the hunters have learnt how to shoot without missing, many Riannige corrupt leaders have learnt how to perfect their nefarious acts without the help of accountants, whom they describe as uncontrollably greedy. “They often want 20% kickback,” one of the company directors who spoke on the condition of anonymity complained.
Inasmuch as many of the lecture participants agreed with Mr. Yemiowo’s argument, another speaker the current NACI President, Mr. Doyinade Labiowo, blamed the present corruption on the neglect of the agricultural section by the government. He argued that ever since the government abandoned agriculture, which used to be the backbone of her economy, and focused on the oil money, corruption has skyrocketed. The discovery of oil suddenly opened another easy door to the stealing room, he argued. He went further to warn other emerging oil producing countries in Africa that oil discovery is a blessing in disguise if not properly managed.
The last speaker, Terpe Leese, President-General, Rianige Congress Union of Trade, CUT, made a detailed analysis of the corruption problems in Rianige.
“What do you expect from a country ridden with acute indiscipline, corruption, nepotism, near neglect of standards, inadequate laws and legislations, primordial sentiments and judiciary weakness cum impediments, paucity of operational tools, coupled with impunity power of executives? “
Mr. Leese’s speech was greeted with a thunderous applause and a standing ovation.
However, when one of the speakers, pastor Okudi wanted to end the lecture with a prayer, he asked the participants to respond in affirmation that God would punish those who have stolen or do encourage stealing public money. His patriotic request was met with silence.
Perhaps the participants did not hear the loud speaking pastor well. You never know; after all, everything, some would say, is possible in Rianige.
The above story is a parody. It is entirely fictitious; therefore none of the characters mentioned in the story is real.
