“I am not sure Mr Lamachel wrote a letter sent by a DHL company to the Danugan government announcing his intentions to surrender to our side. I also wonder why it took him years to make up his mind to “surrender” despite that the amnesty law carried a specific time frame for the surrender. It wouldn’t surprise us if Mr Nyko tells us he’s on the way to surrender to the government troops after he is captured.” The chief government public prosecutor Ardrich Terabu said sarcastically.

But the captured rebel leader was not amused by the argument of the government. Nor did he seem to appreciate the degree of the psychological cum social kata kata his victims go through due to inglorious activities of the rebels. The idea of his lawyer that Mr Lamachel, just like any in the community, is entitled to “justice” and therefore, he should be pardoned and settled amongst his victims is considered by many as insensitive and anathema. The opinion shows that very few will rather not declare the ex rebel persona non grata.

“Integration of Mr Lamachel in the society amongst his people could act as justice for the victims. Maybe he looks at what he did wrong and he is haunted by it - that will be justice in the African sense." The captured rebel commander’s lawyer argued.

Trying to sample the opinions of the victims of the ARL rebels’ atrocities, Kata Kata’s reporter interviewed some of the victims of the war. One woman, Alice, who claimed she was abducted at the age of 12 and taken as a sex slave for the rebels, who persistently raped her especially any day the rebels experienced military losses in the hands of the government force, swore she would never forgive her tormentors. She claimed she was rescued by the government forces during one of the military raids in the jungles where the rebels operate. Her friend Aloko, whose face was totally disfigured is not so lucky. She claimed that her mouth and nose were sliced open by the rebels after she was caught escaping the brutality of the rebels. She narrated that the rebels forced her at gunpoint to cook and eat her cut flesh.

"Lamachel will be haunted by what he did? Does a piece of stone have feelings? To live in the same village with that beast? Sure, we all will go to him every morning and even honour and worship him for the psychological destruction he caused amongst us. Perhaps Mr Lamachel would equally suggest we start the integration process, by making a Chapati and beans stew everyday for him” the visibly angry Aloko responded.

Even though, the ARL rebellious havoc has been the order of the day in the northern part of Daugan since the last two decades, the notoriety gained international attention following the recent video of the SU advocacy group Children Invisible, who detailed the inhuman atrocities of the rebels. Since the release of the video, which has been watched online by millions of people, the rots of the victims of this infamous war have gained currency. Mr Phjose Nyko, the brutalleader of the ARL group is wanted by the Court Criminal International for rape, mutilation and murder of civilians. He is also accused by the court of forcibly recruiting children to serve as soldiers and sex slaves. Mr Nyko is still at large.

When our correspondent reminded Mr Lebca Kaala, the lawyer of the captured rebel commander, that many of his client’s victims are not happy with the idea of Mr Lamachel being integrated into the society, he expressed surprise.

“I strongly recommend the integration for the rebels, including their leader Mr Nyko. It is the best therapy for both the victims and the accused aggressors.” He advised.

Clearly, if and when the notorious Rebel leader Nyko is captured, Danugan government must be prepared to hear the same argument from him that he is on his way to surrender to the government troops. In view of that perhaps, the government, according to Kata Kata’s moles amongst the state military, has given out a contract to a local chef cook to prepare a delicious Matoke meal for Mr Nyko as a sign of gratitude for his decades of rebellious atrocities. That would be the beginning of the proposed reconciliation jamboree between the victims and aggressors. The government argued.

Perhaps, the amnesty and integration receipt proposed by Mr Lamachel’s lawyer, Lebca Kaala might as well be the right ingredient for the peace loving Dansugan. However, the whole world must first wait till the tricky scandalous Nyko is captured (or did I hear “surrendered?”) before we know whether he really will enjoy the proposed matoke meal – amongst his people.


The above story is a parody. It is entirely fictitious; therefore none of the characters mentioned in the story is real.
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