BREAKING NEWS: EASTER MAY BE POSTPONED THIS YEAR

The latest reports reaching Kata Kata, have indicated that Easter may not be celebrated this year – at least, in Africa – after all.  Our authoritative source confirmed that Judas Iscariot has adamantly refused to betray Jesus this year. Asked why he made such a radical decision, Judas explained to our reporter that the present economic situation in Africa has necessitated his decision.

Haba!  30 pieces of silver is too small for such a risky job, considering the risk and stigma that go with it. Can you believe that up till now, my whole family has been stigmatized and ostracized worldwide after more than 2000 years ago? Just because of 30 pieces of silver and a kiss? Due to the present economic malaise, coupled with high rate of exchange rate – especially dollars – it is too strenuous a job to undertake, just for 30 pieces of silver. Do you know how much our politicians who take no risk steal daily? At the end of the day, what will 30 pieces of silver buy for me and family?” He complained.

Asked how to solve the dicey situation, having the symbolic significance of Easter in mind, Judas insisted he wants at least 200% increment of the amount. Meanwhile, difficult negotiations are still going on to see if Judas would be convinced to reduce his demand. Until the negotiations are successful, you are advised to free your goats, cows, sheep, chicks, turkeys awaiting for crucifixion during the Easter period. However, if Judas receives an alert from his bank before the Easter day, you will be duly notified immediately.

Meanwhile, Judas and his entire family kindly send their deepest apologies for any inconveniences this may cause you, as well as ask for your understanding for his demands, having the itching economic situation in Africa.

Regardless, we wish you a happy Easter celebration wherever you may be.

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